If you can't say something nice…

My mom used to say this when I was a little girl. Over the years, I've said it to my daughters and the many students I taught. It's a powerful statement! 

The phrase says, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." That speaks truth, doesn't it? Perhaps we would be better served if we held our tongues or keyboards more. I'm guilty of speaking without thinking and then feeling regret for saying something unkind. I value the power of restraint, keeping quiet when there isn't something nice to say. Although sometimes it's easier said than done.

This morning I was reminded of its' importance as I listened to @marinerschurch and pastor @dougfields. Part of the sermon included Eph. 4:25-29 (NLT), which reads:

"So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And don't sin by letting anger control you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil. If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 

Direct instruction for how to live a changed life. (This terrific summer series has been about the Holy Spirit and the power of transformed lives. You can watch the archived sermons if you want to know more.) 

I considered the last part of verse 29, and a spark of inspiration prompted me to take that old phrase a step further, making it new. What would it look like to add to the statement like this: 

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all…until you can use your words to be helpful or encouraging to others. 

Well, that's a horse of a different color, for sure! This neutral action becomes positive by changing the phrase's original wording to something new. Can you picture a shift in interactions among colleagues, classmates, siblings, spouses, etc.? Maybe this could be a catalyst for kindness. What if we taught this to our littles? I can't promise it will be easy. It might take some practice, but I'm up for this week's challenge. How about you?